:: David v Goliath ::

David 16 - Goliath 15

October 18th 2004, Antrim Forum

With our beloved taskmaster, Baron von Works-a-lot, away on business to the Irish capital of the world, that is Dublin, the task of organisation fell on Craig "Guv" Allen. And organise he did... the reenactment of the historic and Biblical duel between two giants: David and Goliath. (Well, Goliath was the giant and David was just a shepherd boy but could he use a slingshot or what?!)

Play began promptly at the later time of 9pm. No one knows why it was the later time, nor does anyone know why play began promplty. Divine intervention perhaps but we'll never know. Regardless, play began promptly at the later time of 9pm.

"Football is not a matter of life or death,
it is much more important than that."
Guv, "Voice Text For Dee", 18.10.04
Goliath was always looking better on paper - the shade of off-white brought out his eyes. Also, the fact that his team had more strikers than one can count on a hand with most of the fingers cut off due to losing too many games of Russian Roulette didn't give David's team much confidence. Some pre-game blood was spilt between two nameless players on each side, but it was all in good fun. (NB: Poetic license may be used throughout this report.)

And so play began with the ball hoofed up to the heavens. The angels weren't playing, just spectating, so they promptly threw the ball back into play. And so it started...

From the get-go, Goliath had the edge: clever moves from Barclay and Dee created much room for Piece to run in to. Big Al kept up a sterling effort in the midfield to keep Goliath close enough to David's D-string that he could smell the sweat from his butt crack. The attack was relentless and many goals were forthcoming.

David had determination, though. Regardless of how Goliath looked better on paper because it brought out his eyes, David persevered. He kept his honour, his strength and his will. Slowly but surely Pete and Jonny were making inroads in Goliath's defence. Superb through-balls from The Action Man, Hugh Wallace, allowed the lads to take opportunity by the neck when it came. Although behind, David kept in it.

The time came for the Guv'nor to be released from the Net. This man is a man to be recokoned with; one who is grossly underestimated. Covering the ball well, the Guv'nor could keep his eyes open for runners. This was usually every member of his team besides he who was in the Net and almost always ended up with a goal.

But David, although still down, was not out. God smiled on David and, through Joe "Tackles" LikeARugbyPlayer, kept him in the running. Ingram was his usual self in defence: in the way. Balls just bing off him! And if not him, Hugh would make an amazing save with his knees! And with the now overconfident Goliath caught high up the pitch, David rushed through with deadly force in the form of Pete and Jonny.

Ultimately this was Goliath's achilles heel and led to David, on one particular break, slaying the giant once and for all.

This slay was almost as historic as the original if not quite as bloody. All who took part eagerly await next week for yet another chance to be remembered in the ageless annals of Slayfest.

Teams

Winners (David)

Losers (Goliath)

Slingshot of Success

Is to be shared amongst the team of David for their sterling effort that showed real teamwork.