:: Welcome ::

Welcome to Slayfest, the Slayers' official home. Tune in every week to this website for the weekly match report, the possibility of incriminating photos and crazy videos, and more meaningless nothings than you can count on one finger!

:: Back To Life ::

... back to a reality of sorts

The monkies have been released from quaranteen due to the recent bird flu scare and are back in action... watch this space!

If you have forgotten your password to login, ring/email Marky and he'll sort you out (and might even give you your password, too).

:: Not Even A Mouse ::

Apology from an Overworked Undergraduate

Lads and ladettes, I must profoundly apologise for my lack of dribble these passed few weeks. I have no excuse for my silence that has left the air of tension and slagging motionless, like the stagnant pond in the Castle Grounds. Forgive me, brethren.

Now that I am beginning to get a lot of work done and out of the way, my time with the fine establishment of Her Majesty's University in Belfast is drawing to a close. With one last 8 week push, that will be harder than any woman going through Labour (yes, the political pun is intended), I will finish off my splendid run and bow out of academia forever. The trumpet will sound, funny looking black gowns will be adorned and paper will be covertly shifted between hands. Then I will walk through the great gate of QUB for one last time, drawing to a close my five year tenure with the Great Brute. I shall miss her.

But enough about my life story. Just want to let you guys and gals know that no longer shall the domain of the Slayers remain empty. No longer will the cause remain undocumented. No longer shall Nicholson have his name on a webpage without "dirty, dirty" being somewhere in the same sentence. No! The Slay will persevere and carry on. As we remember legends of old so shall our children's, children's children remember us. Throughout the comedy, despite the snow and instead of the DUP, we shall stand somber, victorious, galant, tall. And when we have stood for as long as Yahweh permits us, we shall then take our seats at the table to share in the banquet in full knowledge that the Slay, our Slay, will never be forgotten.

Onwards to victory, Slayers!

:: New Website Feature ::

You Just Gotta Login

Due a major jump in the number of people posting comments to reports and the need for tighter control on webspace that is owned by my dad, I have had the monkeys implement a login feature to increase security. Now, in order for you to be able to read full match reports and post comments, you must register and activate your account. REGISTER NOW!

Only one account may be created for each email address and the system enforces that usernames are unique. By signing up, you are implicitly agreeing to the Slayfest.biz Acceptable Use Policy (AUP). READ IT!

:: Reaction to Boiling Point ::

Post-Game Report

In light of Monday's game and after giving it a lot of thought, I have done something quite unprecedented on Slayfest.biz. I have given my own reaction to the game in a way that I hope you take seriously. I post my thoughts in full knowledge that it may adversely affect the numbers of visitors to this website... but I don't care, I feel I need to speak. READ IT!

:: Slayers FC v. Old Men ::

Pre-Game Special!

Goodness me! We are only three days in to 2005 and already there is a major match! The traditional Slayers FC v. Old Men match. Kick off is expected to occur at 11am this morning with both teams eager for a win. The Old Men want to show that they truly are unbeatable; the Slayers want to show the Old Men the way to the nursing home... READ MORE!

:: New Year, New Look ::

The team of crossbred monkeys that run Slayfest.biz have decided that, since they had nothing better to do, they would develop a new look for this website. Coinciding with the decision of the board to move from the traditional red shirts to the more contemporary blue shirts, the website has more of a blue feel.

The chief monkey asked me to pass on that he and his team take criticism very badly... especially if it is constructive criticism. In the words of His Monkeyness, "You will either love it or hate it... either way, I'm off to eat a banana."

NOTE: Some of you may have to refresh your browser window a few times to pick up all the latest images and stuff. If you have any problems or notice anything strange, let me know.

:: Volunteers Wanted ::

Do you think you're funny... punk?

Putting comic genius into match reports each week isn't easy. In fact, it is hard! Do you think you can do better? Do you have a knack for talking for ages about nothing at all? Then this could be the job for you.

Successful candidates will be blessed with good looks, good humour and a computer. Furthermore, a match report need not be written every week. With many people helping it'll be once a month at most, hopefully.

:: Slayfest Comments ::

Check it out! Slayfest's resident geek has been working away frantically for about half an hour and brought Slayfest.biz into the 21st Century. From Ingram's report on David v Goliath onwards, viewers will be able to post their very own contributions to reports.

This can be done willy-nilly. Just read the report, scroll down to the bottom of the page and then enter your own thoughts.

[official announcement begins]
All comments will be screened by the webmaster. Any he doesn't like will be removed. Any that are unduly offensive in any way will be removed. Any that break the laws of the UK will be removed.
[end of official announcement]